Nightmares are Dreams too

Jessica stood on the edge of the cliff dangling one foot carefully over the dark emptiness beneath her. Bracing herself for a fatal fall adrenaline filled blood caused her heart to beat wildly. She could barely control her thoughts. At 32 years old she’d decided that she’d come to the end of the road and the race was over. She’d given her best in life and had nothing left to offer. She was ready to take the leap. The one that would end it all.

But wait….

If I jump I won’t know if anyone searched for me. She thought. How long did they look for me? How many nights did they watch the sun rise blinded by tears clouding their vision accompanied by swollen eyes. Fatigue setting in from countless sleepless nights as they waited for the phone to ring hoping to hear my voice on the other side.

Time would pass and I won’t know who missed me. Reminiscing on my smile, ourlaughs memories would dance around their mind’s eye visual motion pictures of the past. Of who I used to be but didn’t last. I just want to know that I’m not alone.

Come back to me. I need you.

Jessica’s pondering was interrupted by the plea of a familiar voice demanding her attention.

Come back to me. I need you.

This time louder. Though she recognized the voice she couldn’t place a face or a name but she felt obligated to respond to the command.

She focused again on her foot dangling over the empty space that only showed darkness beneath her. Thick and endless she did not know how long the fall would be.

The hands of the deep tugged at her foot. Enticingly alluring yet frightening. Intimidating.

Jason sat at her bedside begging with his eyes for Jessica to respond to his pleas. She’d been in a coma for 3 days now after the car accident. The last time they’d spoken she said that she’d rented a cabin in the mountains because she wanted some time to herself to “think”. Jason knew what she needed to think about. Over the past few weeks Jessica had become increasingly distant and her behavior strange. She’d always been jovial and pleasantly mischievous with dreams bigger and wider than the smoky mountains. Just like the smoky mountains there were times when a heavy cloud would cast a shadow over her, forecasting another side that could only be seen if you looked long enough. Her salubrious personality was able to hide that part of her from everyone except Jason. He knew what she’d been planning to do but wasn’t sure of how to stop her.

Her foot twitched for a second time in the past hour. Was she coming out of it? Could she hear me calling for her return to consciousness?

The doctor’s believe that sometimes people can still hear while in a coma. Skeptical yet hopeful Jason sat at Jessica’s bedside softly whispering to her everyday telling her how much he loved her and promising that if she returned things would be different. Life would be better. It didn’t have to end this way.

It doesn’t have to end this way. Jessica thought. I can go back and try again she screams her voice echoing through the emptiness bouncing off the side of the majestic mountains before fading out in the distance.

At first her foot was twitching but now her mouth is moving. Jason panicked it looked as if Jessica was gasping for air. Is she having a hard time breathing? The monitor attached to her shows that her oxygen levels were normal at 100 percent saturation on room air. Though her heart rate was climbing she looked calm. Jason had just decided to call for the nurse but stopped in his tracks when Jessica began to mumble. At first softly and inaudible but then clearer and louder.

I can go back and try again .

Jason reached Jessica’s soft warm hand just as her eyes fluttered open.

Jason..is that you? she asked lightly squeezing his hand allowing a weak and tired smile to spread over her face.

Yes Jessica. It’s me. Jason stroked her hand knowing that she had the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen in his life and he didn’t want to live another day without seeing it.

Have you been here the entire time?

I never left your side.

Jason I had the worst nightmare. I was driving through the hillside of the mountains on my way to a cabin…she trailed off lost in thought. The last thing I remember was standing on the edge of a cliff. I don’t know how I got there but I heard you calling to me over and over again so I turned around and came back.

Jason wiped a single tear from his eye and smiled. He felt no reason to tell her that she’d been driving under the influence of alcohol up that hillside before she veered off the road into a tree. She didn’t need to know that the solitary tree deeply rooted and seemingly out of place was the only thing that kept her car from falling over the cliff as she lay unconscious from the impact. In her travel bag there were enough sleeping pills for her to sleep peacefully forever and a note sealing her final departing thoughts to her loved ones.

You can always start again Jason whispered holding back a stream of tears.

I can alway start again Jessica whispered back as nurses rush into the room followed by the doctor.

This time you won’t be alone.

Ivy Gray copyright 2023